


Almost Everything

by josiewrites



Category: Glee
Genre: Canon up until this, Episode: s03e19 Prom-A-Saurus, F/F, Faberry, I wrote this years ago, Quinn believes in Rachel, Quinn/Santana friendship is everything, Santana knows what's up, mentions of Brittany, mentions of Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 19:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12824346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiewrites/pseuds/josiewrites
Summary: "Do you not understand what you meant to me?"





	Almost Everything

Quinn's cell phone beeped, alerting her that she had a text message, from Rachel. It read: Can we talk? Meet me in the hallway by the Spanish room. Please?

Quinn sighed quietly to herself, not knowing what to expect. She had barely spoken to Rachel since the accident, any conversations that were had between the two since then were when they were surrounded by others or just in passing. She came to prom with Joe, he insisted it wasn't a date, they had become really good friends and she liked him, sure, but he was younger and she wasn't looking to get into a relationship so close to graduation. He was a sweet guy and helped her gain back some of the confidence she lost while being in this wheelchair. She told Joe she would be back in a moment and wheeled herself out of the gym and into the hallway where Rachel wanted to meet.

Rachel's back was to her when she entered the hallway, "Hey. I got your text, you have three minutes."

Rachel approached her quickly, and spoke in a rushed manner, "Look, I owe you an apology. I– I found out that you and Finn were campaigning together and I kind of freaked out. I got really jealous and irrational, so, I just– I should have been supportive."

Quinn's heart ached a little, knowing that Rachel was probably jealous of her and not Finn. From day one it had been Rachel after Finn and Quinn always felt insignificant. Never enough for Finn, for anyone, really. She wanted to be enough for Rachel, but for the better part of their high school career she had been terrible to the girl. As a defense mechanism, really. She didn't know how to handle her feelings for the girl and now she was past the anger stage. It wasn't as if she had ever wanted to hurt Rachel, but she needed to keep her distance and having the girl slushied and uttering mean nicknames toward her she thought would keep Rachel away. But Rachel never relented, she always wanted to be Quinn's friend, always tried to find a way and now…now Quinn was just exhausted. Exhausted at having to suppress her feelings. It happened when Rachel approached her in the bathroom that day, when she told Quinn that Finn had proposed. Quinn definitively knew at that moment, that the feeling she had been trying to bury for so long, was love. Maybe she had known all along but the thought of losing Rachel forever, to Finn Hudson, no less, killed her.

"Well, since I had no idea that was going on, it's pretty easy to forgive you. So, I'm glad we cleared that up." Quinn turned to make her getaway, not knowing how much longer she could handle being in front of the girl. She was hurting and Rachel didn't know what it was doing to Quinn and Quinn wouldn't blame her, she couldn't. She was a coward and she wanted to run away.

However, Rachel's words stilled her, "Wait. Do you not understand what you mean to me?"

Quinn stayed silent, urging Rachel to continue, "When we first met, you were everything I wanted to be. You were beautiful and popular and you had Finn."

Quinn shrugged nonchalantly, "How the mighty have fallen."

Rachel shook her head, "No, you don't understand. I still see you that way, okay? That's why I got so crazy, because I wasn't seeing the new Quinn. The still beautiful, but humbled and inspiring Quinn."

Just for a split second, it hurt her to hear Rachel say that she still saw her as the girl she used to be. For more reasons than one. She didn't know if ever really was that girl. Well, of course she wasn't. She used to be Lucy. Lucy Quinn Fabray. But Quinn always felt the need to escape that girl, that version of herself. Who was humble, and kind, but also very sad and never enough. Then she became Quinn. Just Quinn. Pushing every part of Lucy out of her, but she still never felt good enough, worthy enough, pretty enough. She became lost and bitter and mean. She didn't actually have real friends. She was head cheerleader and used that to her advantage. People wanted her, wanted to use her popularity to gain their own.

Then came glee club, with glee club, came Rachel. It was all Rachel, everything started changing when this girl, who was standing in front of her now, just waltzed into her life. This loud, annoying, boyfriend-stealing, persistent, beautiful girl. The one person who always found a way to Quinn know that she was enough.

"I've– I've lost so much over these past few weeks and I honestly don't know what the hell I'm going to do with my life. But when I look back on my high school career, the one thing, the one accomplishment that I'm going to be so proud of, is that I found a way to be your friend. So, I'm apologizing to my friend. And I also want you to know that I voted for you for prom queen and I really think you deserve it,"

Rachel was smiling brightly as she said those last few words and Quinn couldn't find one word to say to her. Santana walked by then, and Quinn silently cursed her.

"Ugh, stop making out with Berry and get to the Spanish room, Quinn. It's time to count the votes and declare me the winner!," Santana spouted off, smugly.

Rachel only smiled, whispering a "Bye" and "Good luck" and walked away, leaving Quinn sat in the hallway watching Rachel's retreating figure.

\---

She joined Santana in the Spanish room then, looking visibly annoyed with the Latina. Santana only looked back at her, eyebrow quirked, silently challenging her. She knew the look Quinn had on her face and she knew what was coming, but if Quinn was going to say something, she needed to come out and say it herself. Quinn was Santana's homegirl, yeah, but tonight was prom and she wasn't looking to get into a fight. They could be the best of friends and other times, they could be the worst enemies. Besides, she meant no harm in what she said out in the hallway a few minutes ago. All she wanted was to get this over with and head back in the gym to dance with her girlfriend. That's what this night was about for her.

Quinn huffed from her place in the doorway and went over to the table where Santana was at, "Was it really necessary for you to say that?"

Santana rolled her eyes, "Oh, come off it, Q. I was joking and besides you're not fooling anyone. Except maybe yourself. And Berry. Since she seems to think that giant cream puff named Finn is the love of her life."

"Maybe he is," she said sadly, knowing that since Santana obviously knew her feelings for Rachel, it meant she didn't have to put on a brave a face. Quinn hated being vulnerable, though, but when Rachel was concerned, it was almost impossible for her not to be. That girl really messed with her feelings and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Santana couldn't hold back a laugh and then she scoffed, trying very hard not to roll her eyes again, but it was hard not to. She was finding this whole conversation ridiculous. It was hard not to find something ridiculous where Finn was involved. It was not at all secret that she wasn't a fan of the boy. Despite the fact that she had sex with him, which is kind of one of her biggest regrets because it was less than satisfying and lasted about two seconds. He was also the main factor that led to her being outed. She doesn't think she deserved that but she can see why he did it. It wasn't right, but neither was the way she constantly ridiculed him. But she still saw him as a huge joke, even if she had developed a bit of a soft spot for him after he all but blackmailed her and the rest of the Trouble Tones back into the New Directions for a week to help her with her sexuality, it was kind of sweet.

"Why are you laughing?", Quinn asked, her tone annoyed and showing a hint of frustration.

"Because I've had sex with Finn. You've dated Finn. Twice. God knows why, but you did. We both know what a moron he is. Were you ever really in love with him Quinn, did you ever think he was the love of your life?"

Quinn sighed, knowing where Santana was going with this, "No."

Finn was a nice guy, when he wanted to be. He always thought his intentions where good but he was never all there. He didn't put a lot of thought into anything. Quinn dated him because he was quarterback of the football team. She needed a leading man as head cheerleader and he was the perfect candidate. But it was tiring, he was tiring. And he thought he had gotten her pregnant via hot tub. He actually believed that lie. Yeah, okay. She understood exactly what Santana was getting at.

Santana watched Quinn thinking things over and spoke once she saw some realization wash over the blondes eyes.

"Rachel might think Finn is the love of her life, but I think she's with him just because he's there. Finn's kind of like a puppy. Going where the most love and attention is, therefore being loyal to that person. A loyal, giant pain in the ass that follows her everywhere. Say, to New York, for example.

Berry and I just became friends, or something, but I've seen this whole relationship play out, Quinn, and so have you. Her confidence has been shot and he doesn't exactly do a good job of building her up but he is always glued to her side, and at the point, I think she's just comforted of having someone by her side and not being alone. But she can do way better and I mean that in more than one way. I'd have sex with you over Finn any day. So like hell am I going to stand by and watch Frankenteen get the girl."

Quinn chuckled, "I get it, Santana, thanks."

The Latina shrugged, "Sure. So what the hell are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know, despite how I feel, I just want Rachel to be happy. I was willing to give Finn a chance, I think. Not that it's my decision anyway…" Quinn answered, "But after what happened in the bathroom and gym earlier with him, I'm not entirely sure he even deserves someone like Rachel. She's too good. Hell, she's even too good for me."

"No way, you still have a lot of fight in you but you're not that ruthless, bitchy cheerleader you used t– wait" Santana said, cutting herself off, "What happened with Finn?"

Quinn shook her head, slightly, not really wanting to go into detail, but there really wasn't any other way.

"You know how I've been going to physical therapy with Joe several times a week?" Santana nodded, "Well, a few days ago, when we were there, I took my first few steps since the accident."

Santana's eyes widened and a smile threatened to make it's way onto her face because when the accident happened, she had no idea what to do with herself. Neither did Brittany, they wouldn't and couldn't be the Unholy Trinity without Quinn and that thought had nearly shattered her. She waited for Quinn to finish, though, before she showed any sign of emotion.

"I was in the bathroom, once prom had already started and I guess Finn had been looking for me, because he found me standing in front of the mirror. Freaked out a bit, told me I was the same old Quinn I'd always been. That I only cared about myself, and that I have everything and now I'll have the crown. Maybe part of him was right."

"Quinn, he wasn't," Santana said, sounding so convincing, that Quinn almost believed her.

"I just wanted to win, so part of me used this wheel chair to my advantage to get votes. I still can't walk much on my own without support, same with standing, but he didn't give me much of a chance to explain," Quinn's eyes were shining with unshed tears, "When he mentioned that he chose to be her with me over Rachel, that's when his accusations hurt. I don't want to be the cause of her pain."

"And in the gym?"

"You were on stage, Finn and I were dancing but he stopped and said he wouldn't finish the dance with me until I stood up. If I didn't he's tell everybody how I'm a liar. I didn't, he yelled a bit, told me to stand up, reached for my chair–"

"Oh, hell no," Santana said, anger flooding her voice, she stood up and headed for the door, "I'm about to go all Lima Heights on his ass."

"Santana, please don't," Quinn all but begged, "Don't stoop to his level. You just want to have your night at prom with Brittany, don't ruin that because of something that doesn't involve you."

"Fine, but I have your back, Q. Whatever you need."

"Let's just count the votes for now, okay?" Santana nodded, knowing that it was the end of the discussion. She wasn't going to push the subject because she knew how sensitive Quinn could be even if the girl rarely showed that side of herself.

Once they were finished with the counting, Santana all but gently placed the last ballot on the table, clearly disappointed, "My count for king is the same as yours. I don't get it, how could Brittany only have gotten four votes? This whole dino prom theme was a smash."

"Maybe…" Quinn began tentatively, not wanting to offend Santana, "it has something to do with the fact that she's a girl?"

"Screw this, I don't want to be queen if Britt isn't king. And don't give me that gender bullshit, Q. You know full well that Kurt won prom queen last year. Even if it was meant as a cruel joke, there's nothing wrong with two girls or two guys being prom queen and king." Santana spoke heatedly, voice risen, but not angry with Quinn.

"Santana, that's not what I meant. I– I don't know what I meant by that, to be honest."

"It's whatever, I go to the yelling place sometimes. I know you're trying to sort your shit out with your feelings for Berry and all that. I mean, that's probably what you meant with that comment. Anyway, how did your counting go?"

"My count for queen was the same as yours. I won by one vote," she sat there for a moment, trying to let it sink in, and let out a small laugh, "I won. It's everything I've ever wanted and I don't feel any different."

"Cool," Santana added, somewhat apathetically, "I mean, I guess you deserve to win, right? With being a kind of-crip and all."

Quinn laughed quietly, "Maybe high school hasn't been everything we've wanted it to be. Both of us have had our fair share of drama and issues. But we were on top once, we had it all. It felt good in the moment but it wasn't everything and this crown, being prom queen, that isn't everything either. And neither of us seem to want it, but it's really not surprising that we were the top two candidates."

"Yeah. Well you know it would be boring if we weren't so awesome."

"We're graduating in just a few weeks, don't you want to leave this place having made some kind of a difference?"

Santana stared at her for a moment before quirking an eyebrow, "What are you thinking, Fabray?"

"I want to give prom queen to Rachel. She deserves it."

Santana scoffed, "Look, I don't hate the hobbit, I even have a picture of her hanging in my locker. But damn, you really do have it bad don't you?"

"Santana…"

Santana held her hands up in defense, "I'm not objecting. If it's what you want, I'm all for it. After all, it is your crown to give."

Quinn nodded, smiling gratefully.

\---

The look on Rachel's face when she was declared prom queen was enough for Quinn. It made it worth it. She asked Santana not to mention it, that she wanted to keep it a secret. Rachel didn't need to know.

It tore Quinn apart, a little, though, singing the song while Rachel and Finn had their dance as King and Queen. Okay, so, the smile on Rachel's face was 95% worth it. The other 5%, well, that wasn't a good thing. It was the jealousy that Quinn felt for Finn, getting to dance with Rachel on the center of the floor. She wished it could be her, but she wasn't sure in what world that would happen. Only an hour ago, Rachel had called her a friend. Even if "friend" wasn't what she wanted to be to Rachel, it was something.

But right now, singing this song while watching Rachel dance with Finn was enough motivation for her. Finn wanted her to stand up, now she would. She felt like she could. Santana was by her side in an instant, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her.

Quinn saw Rachel pull away from Finn for a moment to watch her, they shared a smile and Quinn decided then, that this is a night she would cherish for a long time.

\---

Monday came all too soon, but it wasn't a bad thing. Quinn wasn't in her wheelchair, but she did have a cane just for extra support, she walked slowly and it was still difficult for her to get around just on her own. Her wheelchair was sat in the nurses office in case she couldn't make it the whole day without needing it, but it was already the middle of the school day and so far she felt fine. She was feeling stronger everyday and gaining her confidence back. People were staring at her, but it was something she was used to, in many ways. When she was head cheerleader, when she was pregnant, when she went through her pink-haired phase, the wheelchair, and now on her way to just being Quinn Fabray, regular girl, nothing to hold her up or boost her popularity status except herself and she was okay with that.

She passed by Santana while walking through the hallway, heading to the bathroom, and the girl smiled at her and then winked. Which immediately worried Quinn. She knew Santana well and she knew when that girl was up to something. They used to scheme together, the two of them and Brittany. Though, Brittany really didn't have a mean bone in her body. Santana and Quinn, though, they were partners in crime.

Quinn pushed the thought that Santana was up to something out of her head, and made her way into the bathroom to reapply her makeup. Thankful that she no longer had to use the shininess of the hand dryer to do her make up anymore, thanks to no longer needing the chair, it had really made her feel inferior and pathetic. She was pressed up against the counter for support and retouching her mascara when the door opened and Rachel Berry appeared beside her. A flustered and confused looking Rachel Berry. Quinn think her heart might have stopped at the sight of her, because she really thought Rachel was the most beautiful girl.

"Why'd you do it?" Rachel asked, albeit quietly, but demanding, "The crown, Quinn. Prom queen, I know it was you and Santana who counted the ballots. That many people never would have voted for me. Why'd you do it?"

Quinn smiled sadly at the girl, "Do you not understand what you mean to me?", she said, repeating the words Rachel spoke to her just nights before.

"Quinn, I– I don't understand. You've always wanted to be prom queen. It meant more to you than anything else."

Quinn sighed and turned away from the mirror, to fully face the girl, "You mean more. Rachel, you were right, you've lost a lot over the past few weeks–"

"You've lost more, I mean.." Quinn held her hand up and Rachel stopped talking immediately.

"Just let me finish, if I don't say all this now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to," Rachel nodded.

"You choked on your NYADA audition, yeah, but I still stand by what I said months ago in this same bathroom, where we were standing in these same places. You have an amazing life ahead of you, Rachel. You can always try for NYADA again. Prom queen.. I wanted you to feel special. To know how special you are. Future set in stone or not, you'll be New York one day and you'll have Finn there, by your side."

Rachel closed her eyes at the mention of Finn's name, "Finn and I broke up."

Quinn was shocked into a momentary silence before she realized that she needed to say something. She just wasn't expecting Rachel to say that. The girl seemed so happy at prom to be dancing next to him.

"Oh," She cringed, but it seemed to be the only world she could get out.

Rachel giggled quietly at the lack of words from the blonde, though it wasn't a particularly funny topic.

"Santana told me what happened, in the bathroom and in the gym. I'm so sorry, Quinn. I just couldn't believe that Finn would behave that way. I've been spending so much time worked up over my NYADA audition and giving all my time to Finn that I haven't been a very good friend to you, when it's all I've really ever wanted. To be your friend, I mean.

It should have been me going to physical therapy with you. Although, I am glad and thankful to Joe that he went with you. I just have so many regrets when it comes to us. I mean, from after the accident. I still blame myself, I shouldn't have been texting you and rushing–"

"Rachel", Quinn said softly, resting a hand on the girls shoulder, "Look at me, right now, I'm standing. I'm standing in front of you, I'm here, and I'm alive. I've gotten into Yale. I won prom queen, and it felt amazing for a second, but it felt better giving it to you. I've gotten almost everything I've ever wanted during high school. It's almost over and I can't find too much to complain about it."

Rachel smiled, she really loved this newer version of Quinn, humble and inspiring and it brought her so much joy to be able to be near the girl without animosity hanging between them. The way they used to be, it really did bother her more than she was willing to admit. Quinn had hurt her so much in the past and Rachel spent so much time wondering why. It wasn't all completely unjustified. Sure, Rachel shouldn't have gone after Finn while he was still Quinn's but once that issue had been resolved she couldn't understand why she was never able to get close to Quinn. She took it as a challenge. She was Rachel Berry, she took everything as a challenge. Everything could be a lesson or used as a skill later on in life when she was on her way to becoming a true star. It's just, sometimes Quinn's hostility seemed to be used as a way to push Rachel away, not as a way to hurt her.

The blonde was turned back to the mirror again, now applying her lipstick, "Quinn?", Rachel asked, almost hesitantly.

"Hm?"

"You– you said that you've gotten almost everything you've ever wanted."

"Yeah," Quinn answered quietly, thoughtfully.

"Almost. What– what's missing?"

Quinn sighed and thought to herself, "Now or never, Fabray, man up." Now or never, now or never. Those were the words her mind kept screaming at her. They were the words that were screamed at her when Rachel told her, in this bathroom, about Finn's proposal. The words that were screamed at her, in the hallway when she told Rachel she would support the girls wedding. All Rachel's happiness. It seemed to be all she cared about these days for the most part.

But right now, now she felt like being selfish. Now she felt like putting her feelings first because now.. It really did feel like this was the only chance she would have before graduation. Now was now or never.

She turned to face Rachel straight on, hazel eyes boring into brown ones, and she spoke.

"You. You're what's missing Rachel. I know we have a lot to talk about and that I have a lot to explain," She took a deep breath and then exhaled a moment later, before continuing.

"But I also know that I once told you how it would be a shame to drag an anchor from the past into the bright lights of your future, but Rachel, I don't view you that way. For me, you're not an anchor. I see you as the bright lights. My bright lights and I want you in my future. Once high school ends, I– I really don't want to say goodbye to you."

Quinn's eyes were shining, the way they always did when she looked at Rachel these days. Full of hope, pleads, regret, and unshed tears. But the hope in her eyes always showed the most.

However, the silence right now was painful. It felt like a screeching in her ears and only the sound of Rachel's voice would be able to soothe it. But Rachel, was standing there, staring at Quinn in awe and was speechless. Rachel Berry was never speechless and Quinn didn't see this as a good sign.

"Please say something," Quinn whispered, voice broken and shaky. Quinn hated feeling, and looking, so vulnerable. She knew desperation and vulnerability was written all over her face.

Rachel loved it. She loved seeing this Quinn. The one full of emotion and feeling, the girl buried deep down that very rarely showed herself, but she was showing herself now and Rachel knew that she needed to say something before the blonde got the wrong idea. But she couldn't, she was reveling at this side of Quinn. How beautiful this girl was, inside and out. Prettiest girl she had ever meant, but she really was so much more than that and it was proven to Rachel more and more, every moment she spent alone with the girl.

Rachel knew Quinn was waiting but she couldn't speak, so she reached out for Quinn's hand and took into her own, joining their hands together. Quinn looked at their hands and then back up to Rachel's face. She was surprised to see that there were tears sliding down the girl's cheeks, but there was also a smile there. A smile that wasn't bothering to make itself hidden.

Quinn reached out with her free hand and wiped the tears that had fallen down Rachel's cheeks. Rachel reached up, and grabbed Quinn's other hand and there they were, standing in the bathroom. A bathroom that may as well be their's because it seems to have made itself their special place. Significant conversations had taken place in here and this was just another one to add to the list.

The moment was getting a little to intense, but this was Rachel. Quinn knew what she was walking into. Everything about Rachel was intense; her eyes, the way she spoke, they was she sang. It was all so much and so intense and yet Quinn could never get enough of it and for the longest time she tried to convince herself that she wanted none of it. But the secret was out. She wanted Rachel Berry to be part of her future.

"I know you'll get into NYADA, Rachel. You'll get another shot and– and New York is just a train ride away from New Haven. I want to be around whenever you need someone. And maybe it's selfish but I hope that someone will always be me. I've wasted so much time, treating you the way I have but I need to know now, it was only because I was afraid. Which is a terrible excuse but I was afraid and I've been needing to get this out for months, maybe even since sophomore year, but you mean more to me than anyone ever has. And, god, the thought of that just kills me Rachel. It scares me because I've never wanted to let myself need anyone so much and I tried pushing you away for the longest time and I– I just can't anymore and I–"

Rachel started laughing and Quinn was taken aback, raising an eyebrow, "What's funny?"

Rachel shook her head, "I just never thought I would ever see Quinn Fabray ramble."

"You weren't saying anything back."

Rachel laughed again, "You need to give a girl a chance to let the information sink in. You just told me so much. So much of what I've always wanted to hear from you and it feels just the way I imagined and I– I needed a moment to just go over it again in my mind. To make sure I heard right, and that this is all real."

"It's real, Rachel."

"Finn and I just broke up, only hours ago."

Quinn shook her head, "Whenever you're ready. I just.. I just needed you to know, and now you do. Nationals is just around the corner and then we have graduation. Even after graduation, there's plenty of time. Remember, just a train ride away. That's all it takes. I know you'll be at NYADA the same time I'm at Yale and the moment you need me or just want to see me, I'll be there. All on your own time, Rachel. There's no rush, okay? I've just finally figured out what I've wanted, who I've needed, after all this time. You can take your time now."

Quinn smiled and then gently and hesitantly pulled her hands away from Rachel's and started to put her make up into her bag. She started to walk by Rachel and toward the door when the brunette whispered her name, Quinn turned around immediately, facing Rachel.

Rachel took a step closer to Quinn and gently placed a hand on the blondes cheek, before pushing herself up just barely, because of the height difference, and planting a quick kiss to the cheek that her hand wasn't resting on, then a chaste kiss to Quinn's lips.

Chaste, but it held so much meaning. Full of promises and new beginnings.

She then whispered something into Quinn's ear, "I am ready, I've always known, Quinn," and with that, she pressed one last kiss to the blondes lips and left the bathroom.

Quinn smiled to herself, thinking that, yeah, now she really has gotten everything she's ever wanted.


End file.
